


Tick Tock

by Serpex



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Mental Institution, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Anal Sex, Asylum, Bottom Eren Yeager, Character Death, Dissection, Doctor Levi, Doctor/Patient, Doggy Style, Explicit Sexual Content, Flashbacks, Graphic Description, Graphic Description of Corpses, Grotesque Imagery, I SWEAR IT THIS TIME, I'm Bad At Summaries, M/M, Mental Institutions, NO EREN AND LEVI DO NOT DIE, One Shot, Patient Eren, Psychological Trauma, Sex, Smut, Strip Tease, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Top Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Violence, ereri, riren - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-22 22:56:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16606997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serpex/pseuds/Serpex
Summary: In the mental institute, all Eren can hear is the clock. Back and forth. Tick tock, tick tock. Until he hears the door and looks up to see sharp grey eyes. He feels safe again.





	Tick Tock

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics used in the later portion of the fanfiction are from Soakin Wet by Willie Taylor.
> 
> Originally, this was used as a portion of a collaboration fanfiction I did with another author called 'Behind Closed Doors', however, my actions offended the other author. When working with other authors, I've always been under the impression that we critique each other by giving constructive criticism and help each other write. While it was my intention to assist in writing and benefiting for both of us to grow together as writers, I came across as insensitive and fucked up by considering a change from the first draft. Maybe it was because I was an immature high-schooler and they were a college student, but in the end, I still messed everything up as per usual when I try to work with people. People always leave me because I do something wrong.
> 
> Anyway, we split up, and I promised not to talk to them so I never hurt them ever again.
> 
> The collaboration fanfic was abandoned.
> 
> But, I didn't have the heart to throw away what I had started and created. There is a story within the words I plastered on a word doc. To throw it all away would be beyond cruel. As such, I've used what I had as a base for this one shot.
> 
> Now, this one-shot is being written in celebration for reaching over 1K reads on Holding On on Wattpad. Y'all said "Tick Tock" was the most interesting and so, I give it to you. Written from Eren's POV. It's gonna be brutal, bloody, smutty, and a tad bit... Sweet? No, that's putting it too well. Let's just say progressive. Although, this is NOT for the light-hearted. There's some gross vivid stuff alongside nice vivid stuff. I hope guys enjoy this as much as I did mulling it together. I'd like to know what you think. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> I should mention that, if it isn't already obvious, is a doctor x patient kind of story. This was written only for entertainment purposes. I am in no way encouraging this kind of relationship as it is technically unprofessional and to a point can be seen as unethical on the doctor's part. I do know some of these relationships have worked out before, however, but please put all of that kind of critic aside for the duration of this story. Please don't report this story for that, and if there are additional problems you find, please tell me either by comment or private message. I don't want a story to be removed without knowing why.
> 
> Thank you, and sorry for the long author's note. I won't keep you any longer. For those who read the whole note, you're the real MVP.

 

There is a place located far away from public society. This barren complex located in a landlocked terrain is shrouded by great oaks and pines. It is dark, and damp roots are surrounded by nothing but jagged rocks and the rotting corpses of the children and adults who were abandoned by the eye of the people. A building looms in the center of this wasteland, a large windowless grey building with flickering lights and security locked gates binding the foundation tight. This place is home to the ones who never fit in.

They've tried to keep me grounded in this monochrome world void of color and life. Four white walls that have surrounded me for the last few years makes it almost seem like my home. But, this is not home for me. Yet, back to where my parents and sister resided, there is nothing interesting there. Not anymore. People are so bland. Human lives are so fragile tittering on the balance of life and death. One moment passes, and suddenly you're gone. It's all so boring.

Time passes by tiptoeing as if trying to avoid my gaze. But the silent tick tock raking the back of my mind grows louder and then filters back into the void. A single door opens every once in a while as a bland being takes and brings food. Bleached stale bread and soot grey water slither its way inside me. The periodic sloshing back and forth in my room was the only animate action among my daily routine, albeit for the twin size bed in the corner, white disheveled sheets plastered on a white mattress, a minor disturbance in this white stained room.

However, this world is not a white box full of only blandness. This place they called Maria's Mental Hospital was nothing more than a holding place for me. One could spend an eternity here living and dying without a single notion of the world outside the moment he or she steps past those doors, the clang of metal scraping metal only echoing the fragments of the past. The front of this place had many people. Interesting people. And that is why they took me away.

And so, I've resided within these four white walls listening for the others. I am not alone. Others here know what I have done, and they know that I will come. But there are new seeds who will be planted and sowed into carbon copy plants. The new patients of the ward know nothing like little white lambs waiting to be painted black and red.

It seemed chilly today, but it was probably my imagination with how the ever constant room temperature never fluctuated even once. However, there was a chill in the air today. Something was different. Something was new.

And something was interesting.

I failed to pace back and forth like a metronome today simply sitting on the corner of the bed, sheets wrinkled between my fingers as I rubbed it to the seam and waited for the little window door to open. Tick tock, tick tock! Time was ticking faster, and my heart simply raced. What did that person see? What is going on outside? Who has come, and will they be fun? These rhetorical questions engraving themselves into the empty blank walls almost hurt like a needle was stitching them through the lobe of my brain, etching them in my mind. My palms were slick with every swipe against the sheets. I blinked profusely whipping back and forth between the window and where the door handle should be.

Suddenly, there was a chink against the window. A metal latch was turned and the aluminum cover slid off revealing aged eyes that peered in carefully.

"Food is ready, Eren," it said. Blood rushed to my ears, and there was a bounce in my steps as I eagerly moved forward. Then with a sadistic grin, I lurched past the tray of food and let my fingers gouge out her eyes. I relished as she squirmed, her screams sounding like music sinking through my body. A sense of peace wafted through my body as my muscles released tension. I sank down, retracting my arm, while a single eye was laced between in my fingers. I wiped off the bulbous organ stringing my nails over the excess blood vessels and admiring the pupil. A solid green color was fading, but it amused me. The smell of fresh blood mixed with a strange scent of nature. It was a strange bittersweet scent like pine or green tea. There is someone new here today. I wonder who it was.

"Oh god, Hitch! Hitch? Can you hear me? I'm calling for help now. Stay with me, Hitch," a voice cried. It was masculine and stressed, such a pitiful state of concern. But even he was not who I wanted. He is not the interesting one.

"Marlo," the deranged voice moaned. "My eye, he's got my eye!" There was clamoring outside as chalkboard scratching screeched, the large metal anchor on my room being undone. The door was released and four people dressed in pale yellow hazard suits nabbed me with their onyx gloves dragging me out of my room. I held the eye tightly in my hand, clasping my fingers around the ball feeling its rubbery surface like a toy. We entered a new room, this one painted grey and fashioned with a stainless steel chair in the center. I was strapped down, ankles and wrists bound by cuffs that tore into my skin like bear claws ripping away at my flesh.

"Electrocute him," a voice ordered. I rolled my eyes knowing this procedure in and out like a regular wash cycle. I was accustomed to the pulsing threading my veins. Sending a jolt through my nerves and bones won't change my brain. Of course, they believed otherwise. I wonder who the new caretaker will be.

Hitch was the seventh.

⛓⏳⛓

I woke up with a tickling numbness like a cat was purring directly under my jugular, wrapping its agile body about my jawline. But in truth, it was nothing as comforting as a domestic feline. My vision focused away from the darkness as I found myself still strapped to the chair, however the room was dim and the voices of those behind the controls were missing. I wonder how much time had passed? The currents that revolted through my frontal lobes now let their limp wires hang loosely from the helmet adorned upon my skull. I must have fallen asleep amid the session.

My thoughts wandered to the new one. It crept up in me that perhaps I could fake things for a while. I have seen the lost ones before. Those who walked about the facility with nothing but a blank stare and coal black eyes. Nothing leaves their throats except for moans of 'yes' or 'no' followed by uncanny praise from the staff. The workers like those zombie-like individuals the most for they can do minimal work and get paid the same. There is loyalty among these walkers; these abnormals among the abnormals. If you can tread among the walkers, you've already won half the battle. I knew they were watching me even if my eyes remain closed.

I sat as still as possible, fighting the urge to shuffle for even a short second. The shallow breathing was the only sound that reverberated in the room. After some time, the double-sided glass glimmered and pale yellow lights ignited to life. There was murmuring as two individuals entered the room. No doubt, they were two new caretakers. I could vaguely make out what they were saying.

"So, this is the problem child?" one asked with a long sigh following. It was deep and matured, male from my first guess.

"He is not a child," the other voice harshly replied with a high pitch to indicate a female. "He is a monster that managed to maul seven of our employees posterior to his admittance into the facility. His record can tell you what he did to land him here."

"That doesn't make his case different than any of the others here. But recovery is volatile," the former voice answered. "I must admit seeing Grisha Yeager's son of all patients is certainly new. However, my method of working differs from the others from here on out. I'll take personal responsibility for Eren. Do me a favor and release his shackles, Petra." I twitched my fingers slightly as I heard my father's name. This man was different. He did not fear me like the other one.

"What?! Oh no, no no no. I'm not stepping anywhere close to that mongrel, Levi," Petra shrieked. "You're insane. If you seriously want to release the demon, you do that yourself. I'm leaving." Petra plodded out of the room, shoes clicking beneath her. There was a sigh as buttons were pressed. The sound of gears turning and the metal door creaking open. I forced myself to breathe as shallowly as I could when a sudden force crashed into my stomach. I jolted with a sharp gasp, eyes open and tongue flung out as my saliva sprayed everywhere. I was jerked forward as this Levi person nabbed my tongue and held it in an iron grip. For a vertically challenged individual, he was strong. He had sharp grey calculating eyes and a chiseled jaw. Unlike most of the other attendants, he did not wear any sort of nursing outfit or a lab coat. Instead, he was clad in a trench coat and what seemed to be an old pair of army slacks, worn from use. It was definitely not the usual doctor attire.

"Good morning, sunshine. Had a nice little nap? Sure you did. So nice that you got to eavesdrop on us, hmm?" he mused with a malicious smirk. It was degrading and mocking the way he knew I was caught. "Don't make this too hard for both of our sakes. You're Eren. I'm Levi. I'm going to take you out of this place, and you'll learn how to live with your abilities. You play by my rules from now on, and both of us will get along just fine. So, let's take you back to your new room." My bindings were undone and he nonchalantly cuffed me to his own hand dragging me like a living piece of luggage. He had no hesitation or any sense of weary that previous caretakers had. It perplexed me and yet, I felt intrigued by his actions.

He was the interesting one.

However, I didn't expect to come to a room that was dark. I was promptly shoved inside where navy blue walls covered a simple square. A small twin size bed laid nestled in the corner with little puppies adorning the cover. A desk and a closet were promptly clean of clutter and it almost seemed like a college dorm rather than a simple room.

I suddenly felt something drain away as if a veil was cast before me. There was nothing here. Nobody was here. It felt empty but not like the empty that was in the room of only white.

Putting all thoughts aside, I tentatively stepped forward running the pads of my fingers along the blue wallpaper feeling its paint sliding beneath me. It seemed so familiar and yet so distant. All of a sudden, a dripping pain pulsed through my body like a single raindrop was building into a downpour. I stumbled backward and crashed to the ground, hugging my head into my chest. I couldn't breathe anymore. I could see anymore. I couldn't hear anymore.

Most of all, I couldn't scream anymore.

⛓⏳⛓

_The sun-beaten patio seared under the sun and yet the breeze enlightened the little snag of farmland in the evening. The clouds fluttered overhead casting heavy shadows along the ground. My mother whipped her calloused fingers through the clothes as she hung them out to dry. Mikasa and I ran around rampant trying to grab onto Max, our German Shepard, as he jumped here and there. Suddenly, the back door to the house shuttered open._

_"Eren, are you there?" I stopped and immediately ran over._

_"You're home, daddy!" I cried. Mikasa and Max were lost out of my attention as I clamored over to my father's extended arms. "Welcome back!" I was lifted into the air and chuckled as the air whooshed around me. I felt like an airplane so high off the ground. But just as quickly as it had come, I found myself placed on the ground once more, the solid oak knocking back at our footsteps._

_"How's my little boy been?" my father asked. "Been chasing after Max again?"_

_"Yeah!" I answered excitedly. "Mimi and I almost had him today."_

_"Oho? That's impressive," he praised. "Maybe you'll catch him one day."_

_"Yeah!" I cheered. My mother wandered over when she noticed the commotion, a warm smile adorning her lips._

_"You're back early, Grisha," she mused before pecking him on the cheek. My father chuckled lowly before letting out a sigh._

_"Not for long, I'm afraid, Carla. I simply forgot one of my briefcases here. My tools and documents are inside. I figured I'd quickly grab some food as well before I head back," he explained. "I'll be returning soon. Eren, Mikasa, would you two like to help me?" Mikasa shook her head before running off after Max again. But I beamed at my father._

_"I want to help!" I screamed. My father smiled and began to walk inside with me bouncing after him. He carefully instructed me to place a series of eight pictures on his desk inside his medical briefcase which held his doctor tools while he made a sandwich and some ribs with corn on the cob from my mother's cookout this morning. I tumbled up the stairs before reaching my father's study. It was a pleasant room neatly made except for a hazardously made bed illuminated dimly from the sun's rays snaking along the navy blue wallpaper that was chipping away showing the bland wood underneath. I found the briefcase and heaved it onto the bed unlatching both locks before opening it. Scalpels, syringes, a stethoscope, and other tools were placed juxtapose in an orderly fashion. However, a small folder laid empty of where the pictures were supposed to be. I clopped over to a large desk and saw the pictures. But as I grabbed them unceremoniously, I saw that they weren't normal pictures._

_Normal pictures were like the ones my mother took. She took pictures of the world like flowers or the sky. She took pictures of family and friends. Sometimes, she'd take pictures of her food for the family cookbook. But these photos weren't like that at all._

_They were people, but they looked as if a dinosaur had come and snapped into their bodies. Pale flayed blood stained skin lay flaccid with ragged edges covering a dark yellow pus and grainy pouches that seemed to ooze inside the stomachs. Grey bone jutted out with cracks dripping down the brownish marrow inside. It made my gut squeeze and summersault, and yet I couldn't pull my eyes away. There was an entrancing beauty to these people even in their unmoving and lusterless eyes. I glanced over to the briefcase and slowly pulled out a small scalpel, glancing side to side from the photos to the sharp tip. This tool was what could make people like this. It was a tool that no one could deny helped people. That's all it was: a tool to help people learn and get better._

_I stuffed the sharp knife into my pocket moving the blade so it was snug against the fur lining and smuggled a single photo depicting a man who looked somewhat familiar. The rest were stuffed into the suitcase before I dragged it downstairs where my father was._

_"Here you go!" I beamed. My father huffed lightly before pulling me into a hug and grabbing the briefcase from my arms._

_"Thank you, Eren. I'll see you tonight, alright?" he said. I grinned and nodded._

_"Bye Bye! I love you," I called out._

_"Love you, too, baby boy," he replied before walking out with briefcase in one hand and a bag I assumed had food in the other._

_I suddenly collapsed to my knees sharply exhaling a breath that had festered inside my lungs. With trembling fingers, I pulled out the small parchment and the scalpel. I stared down at my fist as I slowly ran my fingertips along the blade and traced the photo._

_"The power to create is one no one understands. But... Daddy understands. I can do this," I mumbled to myself. "I can do this too and make someone beautiful."_

⛓⏳⛓

There was warmth when I became conscious that I could control my own body. A heavyweight laid on top of me, but it wasn't an unwanted feeling. I felt body curling up on its own as I tried to pull the warmth closer. However, as I exhaled, I heard the faint breath of another body. My eyes slowly peeled open as a dim lamp filled the room with a pale yellow glow. I remembered that I was brought here by that Levi person. I looked down and saw I had been stripped of my typical robes and wore a thin layer of pajamas, a baby blue with little green dinosaurs littering the fabric. The blanket was thick and fluffy. I absentmindedly twirled its tendrils through my fingers as I laid eyes on a figure who was sitting at the desk and typing away on a laptop.

It was Levi.

However, he lacked his uniform that he had donned earlier. He wore plain black sweats and wore no shirt. I felt myself tending slightly as my gaze followed his sharp jawline and down his collarbones, milking every crease of his firm looking chest and defined abdomen. I gulped and ran a dry tongue over my parched lips as my gaze lingered perhaps too long over his happy trail, a thin line of dark hairs that made me hunger for what was beneath the elastic waistband of his sweatpants.

Suddenly, Levi ceased his movements and leaned back with a groan stretching his arms back so his biceps flexed and churned with fatigue.

"How do you feel, Eren?" he asked as if we could have a casual conversation. And yet, everything had changed in the blink of an eye thanks to this man. I remained silent as things had begun to sink in. In mere moments, I no longer looked like a patient, was no longer chained and secluded like a prisoner, and no longer was I being ridiculed by people who thought I was a monster.

"...Fine," I replied slowly. I swallowed slowly trying to salivate my mouth running my tongue over my grimy teeth.

"Are you sure?" Levi asked once more. He stood up and walked over to plop himself on the bed trapping me under the covers. He looked unamused and blank yet had a sharp edge to his bluish grey eyes. "After that freak out you had six hours ago, I wouldn't say you're fine." I blinked slowly and suddenly remembered what made me end up here. My mind trailed back to what felt like a distant memory, and yet, it was so vivid. I found myself clenching my fiat as if I could almost feel the handle of the scalpel nestled within my palms once more. A part of me felt like I should tell Levi. But the greater part of me told me to stay quiet.

"Like you care," I spat before letting out an exhausted chuckle. "Every single one of you is just waiting for me to die. I don't know why you brought me here, but I sure as hell know that you don't want me here. Don't put on an innocent little mask and play check up with your tiny tools for a tiny man. Pure white little sheep shouldn't provoke a big bad wolf." I scoffed and laid back down, body falling slack into the bedsheets.

All of a sudden, Levi yanked the covers off of me and left me tumbling onto the floor. I groaned as my stiff limbs were forced to retract and expand to expel the pain. But before I could retort in any fashion, Levi opened up the little door off to the side and turned on the closet light. A full rack of clothing was dredged free of wrinkles and sorted evenly by color, size, and season. After wearing the same set of scrubs for over a year, it was almost perplexing seeing all the different bodywear.

"Don't talk parables with me, brat. I'm not here to be tricked by your mind games. That's something I get enough just by being in this place. I thought I made it quite clear when we first met, however, I see that my words didn't get through your skull at all," Levi stated bluntly. "My method to the madness, also known as you, isn't classified as normal by any means, you see. I believe in individuality. I believe that while you can't help everyone in the world, life is worth it if you help even one person. Sometimes you end up helping many people. Sometimes you help the only person you know, yourself. And sometimes, you end up helping only to be rejected and set up as a failure despite your efforts. Of course, there are some out there who are a lost cause, those who have gone too far to be helped; the ones that are called... Walkers." I jerked my gaze away from the clothes and stared at Levi. He paused as I sat up on the bed and took in his choice of diction.

Walkers wasn't a word that doctors used. It wasn't some slang that a normal person would utilize. I'd heard what the workers here called them. Zombies. Aberrhents. Abnormals. To be a walker was an unspoken label that we used as patients. Even the newbies who come will remember that word as their sanity crumbles. For someone like Levi to use that term meant he wasn't just some doctor. No, this man was what all of us wanted.

He was cured.

And yet, he was trusted without a second thought and left to his own devices. Everything went on about him like a train. There was a simple yet successful economy and structure on an island with a locomotive engine rushing throughout the land without a single mishap. That island was inside his hand as he controlled its aspects with unendurable ease. I had played straight into the palm of his hands, dropped down from the sky in a one-way ticket to his world.

Levi smirked and a small glint twinkled in his eyes as they flashed with an acknowledging glance. He knew I had come to the realization of my own accord.

"I'll say this once more, Eren," he said with a softer tone. "I'm here to help you get back to a normal life. I'm going to take you out of this place, and you'll learn how to live with your abilities. Which we will start here, with some clothes. Choose something you'll find comfortable. Try some on if you must. You and I are going to going on a detour. One that I believe will give me a proper understanding of who you are." I felt the need to sneer and reject his orders, yet when the more I looked at Levi, the more he seemed to stare straight to the core of my being. I felt like I was being picked apart like a pork roast being scavenged along a feast with vultures picking my flesh piece by piece.

Levi quickly donned a plain grey jacket and replaced his sweats with ripped jeans before gesturing to me to change. I sighed and began to rummage through the clothes. While it was a seamless task, it felt nice to touch and caress something that wasn't paper thin and starch scented. A million methods of escape rippled through my mind. I could strangle him with a belt or suffocate him with the clothes or blankets. The chair could hit him fairly hard. That laptop would make a shock if I hit slammed it just right. And yet, as so many more observations passed through, I didn't feel a need to act on any of them. There was a sense of pride that I hadn't felt in a long time. I wanted to see what Levi was like now. Beyond this little demeanor, what made him tick in that brain of his?

"Slack jeans, Velcro slip-on sneakers, and a dark hoodie sweater I see," Levi noted. "Not bad, but I'm afraid I'll have to remove your hoodie string. I can't have my patient strangling themselves even if I do find you much more competent than previous patients." I shrugged and allowed him to pull out the limp rope and look me over for any other precautions. After being detained up and down like a piece of meat, Levi opted to blindfold me much to my distaste. However, I felt that if I didn't go by his territory on his rules, I wouldn't be able to find the answers I seek from him. Being led on in complete darkness felt like sleepwalking except I was conscious. All of a sudden, the click clapping against the tile floor turned into a sharp crunch. The humid sogginess of the air churned into a cold crisp knife grazing my skin with a chilling snare. I gasped and jerked my arms close to my body, hands clenched tightly inside the sweater's pockets. Levi pushed me forward gently with his palm spread gently against my back.

It felt like an eternity since I had been outdoors. My heart pounded almost at an overwhelming rate being so aware of this. Sticks and gravel shuffled beneath my feet as I step forward one by one. I wanted to run, to flee, and to escape. Yet, even with the adrenaline pumping from my spine down to the soles of my feet, the ever blooming fact Levi was watching my moves made all motive fade. To lay in the hands of my captor was humiliating and prideful all the same. I am at his mercy. Even so, he is also at mine.

Levi abruptly stopped me as he snagged my hood and pulled me to a halt. He roughly pushed down on my head and kicked me behind my knees buckling my body into a set of cushions. He pulled on my blindfold a little and let it fall down making me aware I was inside a car, a simple white and navy blue Mustang from what I could tell. The doors locked from the outside so jumping out was not going to be an option by any means. The black sheen leather seats sank under my body weight as I adjusted myself comfortably watching as Levi rounded up to the driver's seat. Silver plating lined the dashboard and gleamed among its luster before we jerked forward and raced away. The ward became a speck and its surrounding fence only a misty cloud like an illusion that faded and reappeared only if you squinted hard enough.

Trees swished around us as Levi drove without a word. However, the silence was not disturbing. Being able to see something moving besides the living robots who would take to meeting my basic necessities was a pleasant change I felt calm by. At some point, I felt like a shadow cast its dreadful arms over me and my eyelids felt heavy with fatigue. I curled up against the seat and let the soft churning of the car vibrate against my skull and lull me into a reverberating rapture; it sang like an empty echo of my mind.

⛓⏳⛓

_"Eren, where are we going?" Short ragged breaths haggled through the humid spring air as the boy behind me stumbled in clutching a large book between his thin fragile chest and his frail arms that jutted out at the elbows._

_"We're going to play in the basement today," I replied simply. The small chink inside my pocket kept me assailant nature at bay before I smacked him upside the head. "It's nothing to worry about, Armin. I'm just tired to mom always cutting us off. This way, she'll have to find us before she can stop us from playing sharks and pirates! We can be together more." Armin whined before reluctantly placing his book on the dinner table and begrudgingly followed me down the creaky wooden stairs. It was dark and dusty illuminated only by a small window that leveled out at the ground and allowed a stream of pale light to cast a misty blue glow among the room._

_"Is really losing time that important, though?" Armin asked as he hugged the rail and slinked down behind me. "Sure, we get cut off. But we can always play the next day. And your mom will find us eventually." I groaned and waved off the notion._

_"But if we can do this every day, then we can play even longer in the big picture," I explained. "Wouldn't that be even more fun?" Armin contemplated it before he sighed in exasperation, and I pulled a small string which lit the room._

_"Oh alright," he accepted. "But, if we get in trouble, you'll be the one taking the blame." I huffed and hobbled about the floor in a frenzy relishing as the flickering bulbs buzzed until it streamlined into a steady current._

_"You really think that's going to stop me?" I sneered. Armin chuckled and shook his head._

_"Of course not. You're too hard headed to care," he answered._

_"Damn right I am," I shouted with a grin. Armin gasped and his jaw dropped in shock._

_"E-E-Eren, you can't say t-that," he stuttered._

_"What? Damn?" I cocked a brow in his direction. "S'Okay. No one will know. Let's hear you say a bad word."_

_"What? No, I can't do that!"_

_"Come on, Armin!" I urged. I sat criss-cross applesauce in the center of the floor and sent a straight blank face at him. Armin glanced around nervously before plopping down one foot away from me. He brushed his palms together as if warming them obviously stressed by such a seamless task._

_"Just. Curse. Do. It. Say the f-word, Armin. That's easy," I ordered. Armin gulped and clenched his eyes together. He laced his fingers and assuming an almost praying position. Slowly, he uttered what seemed to be his first taste of profanity. He would say it. I planned to make sure of it._

_"F...F-F...Fu— I can't do it." I sighed and leaned closer to Armin. I pulled his hands apart before reaching my palm into my pocket. I smiled sadistically as Armin's eyes grew wide with shock._

_"What a fucking shame," I elicited with a snide whisper._

_I twisted the scalpel and plunged it into Armin's chest._

_It was like a switch, a single trigger that seemed to dissolve any filter inside Armin's mind. Profanity left his lips like a sailor on his rocker. His muscles tensed with shock, twitching and trembling from every edge of his nerves. I could see light leaving his eyes as he collapsed onto his back. I wasted no time in lifting him and dragging his small body into a small corridor off the side of the basement pushing aside boxes I'd placed earlier this week. I pulled a chain hanging from the ceiling and the small room filled with a small glow, dimmer and yet more illuminating than the one outside. Armin has fallen limp as was on the verge of unconsciousness when I quickly worked on the small puncture wound sewing Armin up like I had seen Mikasa do for her dolls plenty of times. Armin could not even find the will to scream or utter a sound. Only ragged panting and sharp inhales filled the room. I felt entranced as I push and pulled the needle securing the skin tighter and tighter until it was seamless. Armin's squeezed close, and his head lolled to the side._

_He was beautiful._

_Time was of the essence and I was going to make the most of it._

_I looked over his body, my right hand trembling as I lowered the scalpel to his neck. One cut, and it would be over. My left hand held the wrinkly photo I had grabbed so long ago. I recognized him now after my parents took Mikasa and me to his funeral. Armin always looked up to his grandfather after his parents passed away from a car accident. He told me he wanted to be like him one day. In the photo, his grandfather had his neck cut and dark wine blood oozed from the wound. His torso was pulled apart with pink stained bones peering from the inner walls. Other organs were strewed about as if someone had just tossed them aside like a stupid book._

_I mimicked the photo massing large chunks, small pieces, thick, thin, and even hollow pieces until Armin looked perfect; just like his grandfather. Stringy intestines that felt like an old hose tumbled out of Armin's torso, flopping about in a tangled mess. I poked and prodded at it amused and how it squeezed and jerked. His liver felt firm and yet deflated all the same. It was odd to think all of this could fit inside Armin's little body so easily._

_Even so, something felt wrong. I pulled back and leaned against the wall staring for a moment before realizing what was wrong. It was like a cheery game of spot the difference. The color between Armin and his grandfather were much too different. It had to be the result of aging. And so, that was all that was left to do._

_All I had to do was wait. Tick tock went the clock as I covered up my new toy and skipped up the stairs two steps at a time._

⛓⏳⛓

"Hey, wake up, brat. We're here."

Light filtered through as I felt hands grab and unbuckle me. However, I immediately peeled my eyes open when I felt a cold collar enclose itself around me. Levi looked down with a rather plain look. A fancy wristwatch that wasn't there when we left now stuck itself above his palm, face down so he could assess it with either hand. I mentally took note of the little alarm as we left the vehicle and plunged ourselves in the dusk of the city. It was like going back all over again.

Dare I say, but it was a beautiful thing. Even with the musk of the rotting people and garbage abundant in the allies, this place was unlike any other. I remember coming to the city a few times; Most consisted of the courthouse and county prison, but even those places fumed with people, and in turn, liabilities. I would have never guessed Levi to jump on this kind of thing so casually. I have no doubt he knows what I am capable of, and yet, his actions seem disgustingly genuine.

"Where to now?" I asked. Levi shrugged and pulled out a wallet. He seemed to be counting his bills before stuffing it away.

"We have enough to get some decent food and maybe hang out somewhere. Any places you might want to go? Or a favorite food, maybe?" he replied. I paused and blinked for a moment, almost bewildered by the strange question. Food was something I had not really thought about in a long time. Since being under custody, I was never given a choice of what I could put inside my body, be it medicated drugs or edibles. My mind ran a blank.

Levi sighed and began to walk away. He gestured for me to follow. He kept me close whether it meant him slowing down or speeding up noting all my reactions. He seemed to be gauging how this affected me. The lights, the people, the laughter, the cars, and everything else. I knew he saw me lingering over each one. I wasn't even subconsciously aware I had fallen hand in hand with Levi until my fingers locked around his. He mumbled something but I couldn't register my surroundings any longer. The lights grew into towering trees and the cars crashed together like wildebeests. Their eyes were bugging out like dragonflies, beaded and many in number. They churned and looked at me. Their limbs were reaching out like tentacles. Where's mother? Where's Mikasa? Where's father? Max?

One more. One more. One more.

There is one more person.

"...Levi," I whimpered. I stopped moving and dropped to my knees clasping my head.

All of a sudden, Levi was dragging me away from the streets. The city lights dimmed, and we plunged into a faint setting with soft purple and green lights slowly morphing from the ceiling. Levi seated both of us into a secluded booth and it didn't seem like anyone was around us. His arms pulled me close until I had my head shoved against his chest, hugging myself closer to him.

"Breathe in and breathe out slowly, Eren. Keep your eyes shut and keep breathing," Levi instructed. I felt void of everything. Of life. Of death. Of space and time. I could only feel Levi's warmth and the shallow breathing filling and deflating my lungs. Slowly, the world was rotating back into place.

In a world of clocks, there are only two hands; One moves forward. One moves back. And yet they move too quickly or too slowly for the time. And when they both strike 12, time resumes. It's like the world moves forward in slow motion while the past races by. But feeling Levi around me, it somehow made the clock chime and resume in the present.

⛓⏳⛓

A soft humming filled the air as soft music trickled throughout the room. I rocked myself awake and found myself laying down alone on a booth. I gasped when a drink slammed onto the table and Levi seemingly came out of nowhere. I accepted the water without a word and gulped it down graciously. Levi just sighed and dipped on his own drink, some kind of liquid which smelled like boiled herbs. Maybe tea? But, that seemed unlikely in this kind of place. Looking around, it seemed to be a bar of some sort.

"Brat, you really got to stop leaving me hanging like this," Levi grumbled.

"What time is it?" I asked as I stretched and worked out the kinks in my body.

"Well," Levi began as he glanced down at his watch. "Close to midnight, it would seem. You had quite the panic attack earlier, however, your vitals are good now since the adrenaline has worn off. Here." Levi placed a plate that had three simple hamburger and some fries on the side.

"I... Thank you," I muttered after a moment. Levi huffed before sitting next to me in the booth.

"Ha, so the best does have manners," he exclaimed. I glared at him before ravenously scarfing down the food. It had to have been the best thing in the world. It was true I hadn't really eaten the whole day so inhaling the sheer amount of food was no problem in itself. Feeling somewhat more comfortable in my own skin now, I let my gaze take in my surroundings. It seemed like an everyday club set with a dance floor and a bar. However, my eyes landed on a certain object running its length from the ceiling to the ground. After pushing away an empty plate, I finally found the voice to ask Levi.

"Levi, are we where I think we are?" I asked hesitantly. Levi rested his head on his palms and tilted his head slightly with a smirk.

"We're in a strip club," he stated simply.

"What the hell? This was your idea of a place to eat?" I asked in exasperation. "There's a fucking pole. I'm gonna blow a gasket if I see a naked chick rubbing her ass all over that thing." My first encounter with civilization outside of the madhouse was a place for horny people who can't get a date. Just the thought of seeing someone dance with their breasts bouncing everywhere and latex rubber suits was not my ideal. Just trying to imagine it was suffocating.

"Don't make me laugh," Levi scoffed in amusement, eyes glinting with a soft glow as he leaned back. "You already knocked out twice on me. And for the record, I would not even think of coming here unless I knew it was clean. A friend of mine owns this place. Private members only. So no random chick is going to strut her ass at you. Although, that's not to say you're not good enough to get a lap dance. However, all that put aside, it seems your tolerance was overwhelmed quite a bit earlier than I had hoped. Seems integrating back into society on a regular basis will take quite a gander for you."

"Thank you, captain obvious," I deadpanned.

"What was is that overwhelmed you?" he questioned. I shirked away and found myself interested in a discarded crumb.

"I don't have to tell you that," I spat. Levi sighed and scooted closer to me, wrapping an arm and pulling me so my head was under his chin.

"Eren, you have to work with me you won't leave again," he harshly whispered so only I could hear. "I'm giving you a small taste of what life could be like here. I'm not saying you should get laid, but you've been cooped up for too long. It's rare that I even take a patient out on an excursion like this so soon. However, want to know what makes you different, Eren? You still have your will. You still have a mind that functions even if your actions became lucidly gullible. We are here to fix that."

"You know, I get your style is different from those who came before you, but what makes you think you can change things and tape my life together like a little paper puzzle, huh?" My snarky tone was getting louder, and I found myself clenching my fists together. "If you really want to convince me, then why don't you throw yourself at me and worship me. Bet you wouldn't." Levi raised a brow before standing up.

"Alright," he said plainly. Suddenly, he began to strip and my eyes widened as more and more skin showed up.

"What?"

"We're in a strip club, aren't we? I'll dance for you. How about it? If I can impress you with my dance, then you have to cooperate with me," he proposed. I thought it over and sure he was lean and fit, but he didn't seem like a dancer. There was no way he could make something beautiful out of a dirty dance.

"Fine. But get me more food first," I demanded. Levi complied in annoyance. He swiftly left and returned with more burgers and fries before strutting to the pole, his upper body clothes discarded along the table. All of a sudden, I choked the moment the lights centered onto him and he sent a seductive look back towards me.

I was wrong. So dead wrong.

Levi could dance, and he dances well.

The music trickled through, he slicked around accordingly.

_Your body babe, let my tongue explore_

_The way she opened her legs, I knew she wanted more_

He wrapped his legs the pole and hoisted himself up before twirling down, legs high and chest low, turning himself completely upside down.

_Biting her lips, the look in her eyes_

_I let the tingling of her thighs be my guide_

Pale grey eyes peered straight into mine as he flipped back up and turned using only the hook of his ankle and one hand to hold the pole and splayed himself out like a flag. He flew and weaved his body into the pole as if it was an extension.

_It's like when she moans_

_The More I know_

Levi darted his tongue out licking his lips and smirking in my direction. He fell back to the ground and walked around it like the pole was alive. I couldn't deny how mesmerizing he was.

_I'm hitting that spot and I ain't letting go_

_She says damn_

_I say I know_

_And I'm gon keep it in until she let it go_

He stood and thrust into the air making a wave from his head down to his hips and spun around the pole running his fingertips as if tracing the pale metal. It made my skin crawl with goosebumps and yet made my toes curl. Why was he affecting me like this so easily?

And just like that, it was over. Levi strut over to me as there were small cheers and clapping. He quietly put his clothes back on, patting out any wrinkles before sitting across from me with a knowing look.

"Enjoy the show?" he asked bemusedly. I turned away bashfully.

"O-Of course not," I spat. "Why would I enjoy a ratty ass old bean like you?"

"Junior says otherwise," he stated. I glanced down and quickly crossed my legs covering a bulge that had surfaced. How long had it even been since I last had a boner? Mundane feelings like lust were never in question before. Everything inside me told me to go to Levi.

"Shut up," I mumbled. Levi just chuckled.

"Seeing as you will cooperate with me now, let's return and take things to a private atmosphere. Finish your drink, brat. I won't have you wasting anything I put into you," he instructed in a hushed tone. I gulped down my drink without question while Levi dropped some bills off with the bartender who gave a nod and resumed his leisurely cleaning. Rather than walking back the way he came, Levi led me out the back where we perused the alleyways where there was seldom a cat let alone another person. Soon enough, we were back at the car.

I settled into a comfortable position letting the sound of the tires crunching against asphalt lull me into a sleepy daze.

"We're here," Levi said as I was roused from a dreamless sleep. Although I felt tired still, I quickly became aware of something critically wrong. Red spotlights were revolving around the ward casting evil crimson rays across the rotting tree bark. "Seems we have a situation. Would you like to come or would you prefer to wait until things are clear?"

"Come," I answered stoically. Levi nodded and allowed me to follow wordlessly. The guard who was typically patrolling the entrance was missing and there were shouts as we got further into the building. Levi didn't bother to cover my eyes knowing that he could trust me somewhat now. But I found myself too distracted to make a mental map in any case. Wandering over past the lobby and into the housing quarters, it was painfully obvious to see where the commotion was coming from.

"It's a walker," Levi stated grimly. He glanced over to my direction before continuing to calmly pace to the open room. Just as we entered, I paused at the sight. Blood was scattered and strained along the walls and floors. Tables and chairs were splintered apart, some bearing pieces of fabric that had gotten caught. Both patients and nurse alike were littered along the ground like marbles spilling in all directions. And in the center of it all was him.

He was tall and buff, joints bulging with muscle as blood cracked along his fists. He scratched at his dirty blonde hair pulling out chunks of knotted locks and flesh all the same. He took no note of the pain he was inflicting on both himself and others as he snarled about like a rabid animal. His slightly yellowed teeth gnarled together in a crooked grin, eyes dilating to tiny coal pupils among a red iris ring.

I knew him once. We had spoken before and in a way, he was like me. He found the world mundane and as senseless as I did. Yet, our paths strayed when he couldn't remember taking a life. He would question if he ever did or if the people around him were simply dying. He asked himself was he a plague or was he causing one. These endless questions which he sought answers for. All of that made him a walker. He mumbled, he creeped, his hands twitched and undulated with the flickering of his eyes. Levi was extremely perturbed by the sight.

"Settle down now, Reiner," Levi suddenly spoke. "I believe we talked about this before, no? Raging on and around like this solves nothing. I thought we had come to an understanding."

"You!" Reiner roared. "You're nothing but a liar. I did what you said and achieved nothing. You told me that they would leave me alone if I stopped speaking about the world. You told me I could go home!" Levi sighed and shoved his left hand into his pocket, the other pivoting along his waist brushing the trim of his pants.

"I also believe I told you this recovery is a process. You told me you understood, and yet here you are doing what I told you not to do. Doesn't that make you the liar?" he asked.

"Shut up," the brute replied. "I'll kill you. I'll fucking kill you!" Reiner lunges forward, hands bound in a claw-like position as he went straight for Levi's head. He nimbly stepped aside and rounded about Reiner's waist. All of a sudden, Reiner staggered to the ground, planting his knees in the red stained carpet as a glimmer of silver flashed and a knife danced into Levi's hands.

"Attacking blindly is a boorish method," Levi noted. Reiner picked up a table and threw it at Levi, the smaller ducking easily and raised a brow as the wood fell apart with a loud crash to the wall. "Destruction of property is a crime, Braun. Just calm down for me, and we can still fix this."

"No! No, we can't," he spat back. Reiner was beginning to piss me off. He was being unreasonable. I could see the fire in his eyes. He was entering walker territory and it wasn't going to be a pretty transition.

"Hey! Why don't you stop jabbering away and actually open your ears, or are you too much of a buffoon to do something so simply primitive, you ape?" I suddenly shouted. My feet took me forward before I knew it, matter taking action over my own mind. It was ironic to what I was saying, and yet I couldn't stop even with that logic in mind. "Do you need someone to beat it into you that you need to fucking push pause?"

"Eren, don't get involved," Levi ordered, but Reiner had already forgotten the doctor.

"No, it's too late for that, I'm afraid," Reiner cackled with a disgusting grin. "Who's this kid, doctor? Your new toy, or should I say my replacement? Listen here lanky boy, you wanna fight so badly? I'll give it to you. I hate your attitude. And to think, Dr. Ackerman was out to help you too. It's not fair. No one here deserves to be cured except for me! You have made a mistake picking a bone with me. Let's see how you can hold your ground, you suicidal bastard!"

"No! Both of you stop it right now!" Levi shouted, but his voice was lost as we both singled in for one purpose only: to kill the other. I lunged forward and immediately clamored over his outstretched arm looping around and catching Reiner in a headlock. I could hear Levi cursing and fumbling around on his watch. I braced myself for the pain but refused to let go.

And suddenly the pain seared through like spikes were digging into my veins. I clawed my nails into Reiner seeping into his skin as he scratched at my head scraping my scalp into shredded flanks. Blood sprayed and licked the loins of my clothes, staining into a deep red that Reiner mirrored. He charged in random directions, pushing me through drywall and cracking my spine against the wooden and metal foundations. I gasped as a log pillar splintered through my clothes and shoved through the surface of my skin. The electrical pulse of the collar continued to singe my neck, its current growing as Levi grew desperate to stop me.

I suddenly lost my grip and got flung into the wall. The electrical pulsing ceased as Levi rushed over to me. He immediately checked my vitals and sighed in relief seeing I would live. However, I could feel the snap of my bones pouring marrow into my bloodstream. I was physically incapacitated without a doubt. But, I was not the main concern under any case. Suddenly, Reiner whipped around as if everything I had done didn't even damage him at all. Levi begrudgingly walked towards him about to reprimand him when I saw a glint out the corner of my eye. I gasped and pushed myself forward only to fall down, palms slapping against cold tile pavement. Reiner had a metal chair leg in his hand, the end bent off leaving a serrated edge. Levi had obviously taken no notice. I tried to scream and yell and fell into a heaving storm coughs hacking up a lung in the process. I glanced up only to lose all train of thought.

Just as Levi was about to strike forward, Reiner plunged the metal straight into Levi. My ears burst and like a wave ripped through and eradicated my surroundings, I could do nothing. Calling to myself in a thoughtless spur, my body blistered on adrenaline, and the abyss called out to me leaving an empty darkness in its wake.

I yanked the metal pole and flipped it around, smirking as it sank into flesh, gouging straight into Reiner's heart.

⛓⏳⛓

_The police came out of nowhere. It started off with two. They were here to speak with my father, asking about the disappearance of a certain child. I couldn't stop giggling as I eavesdropped on them from the closet. All of a sudden, I lost my balance and crashed into the storage supplies spilling canned foods and various containers everywhere._

_"What was that?" one officer asked. I tumbled out of the closet and nervously met my father's stern gaze._

_"Excuse me, Officer Dok," he apologized before he faced me fully. "Well Eren, I suppose it's no use trying to hide anything from you if you already know. You were good friends with Armin. He hasn't been coming home for some time, you see. You wouldn't happen to know where he is, so you?" I knew, but they didn't have to know that. I affirmatively shook my head left and right._

_"Armin hasn't come to play with me and Mikasa for a long time," I fibbed. Grisha frowned and turned back to the officer who just released a long heavy sigh._

_"Well, perhaps we could look around? If the child often played with your son, maybe he left some clues around your residence. While I would usually grant a warrant for this type of investigation, would you be so kind as to grant us permission now for the time being?" this officer Dok asked._

_"Of course," my father answered. "The floor is yours. Although I do ask that you keep my study materials in order. They are a nuisance to sort." I was in shock at his decision. I wanted to object. I felt the urge to scream at my father saying they couldn't come into our house like this. This wasn't supposed to happen. If they were allowed to look around then there would be no doubt. They would find him._

_"Run along now," my father said as the officers began to move in. I scampered out of the foyer and out of my father's sight. Just as he had his back turned, I snuck behind him and trailed after the officers. They glossed over my father's studies and our bedrooms one by one. The scoured my belongings as carefully as they could trying to see if Armin ever left anything noticeable among my things. Although, books were definitely something I lacked. Finding nothing in the dining rooms or kitchen, they began to head for the basement. The wooden stairs groans under their thunderous footsteps overpowering my small fleeting ones. And as they grew closer, I knew I had to act fast._

_"Jesus, it stinks in here," the one called Dok muttered._

_"Like a rotten carcass," the other agreed. "Reckon it's a dead rat or something?"_

_"Could be, Darius..." I tensed on hearing the name. The other man was Darius Zackly, a professional detective. No doubt he would circle things around quickly, but I had one trick up my sleeve: the innocence of a child._

_They shuffled through old belongings and forgotten objects pulling out broken frames or cracked glassware. They did not notice me observing them from the darkness until they began to head towards the door._

_"Wait!" I cried just as they reached for the door handle. "You can't go in there," I hurriedly said. "There's a dead skunk in there, sir." Officer Dok narrowed his eyes and glanced at Detective Zackly._

_"A skunk, huh?" Zackly exclaimed in an almost amused tone. "Suppose that explains the smell but I'm afraid Nile and I still have a job. Skunk or no skunk, we have to look through every nook and cranny, little boy."_

_"But, but, it's really stinky!" I urged trying to emphasize how bad it was. Officer Dok raised a brow._

_"If it's so bad why didn't you get rid of it? I'm sure it would be no large effort on your father's part," he said. I mentally cursed knowing he was right. What person doesn't get rid of a dead animal like that? I should have come up with a better excuse._

_"We won't snoop too long anyway," Detective Zackly added. He twisted the knob before any more could be said. I lunged forward and grabbed his arm as tightly as I could. But, Zackly was quick. He gripped the scruff of my shirt and raised me off the ground holding me in place with buff bare arms. I struggled and tried to shout, but Officer Dok already got the message. He crashed into the room and immediately gagged. Zackly took a step back, and even I huffed a little._

_The scent of rotting flesh seeped out of the doorway like gasoline spreading in all directions. Zackly flinched and let go as I bit his hand and stumbled after Dok. But, he had already pulled the sheets down off of the body._

_"Jesus..." Officer Dok staggered back in disbelief._

_I began to tear up and collapsed to my knees._

_"You... You weren't supposed to see that," I hissed angrily. "I told you. I told you not to go inside!" Officer Dok turned to me with a frown, his brows furrowed together._

_"Did you... do this?" he slowly asked. I pouted and gripped my hands into fists boring my eyes into the floor._

_"You can't change anything. I'm making him beautiful. Don't tamper my work," I spat. Dok and Zackly both exchanged a glance, and they dived for me. I screamed as titan iron grips hung onto my nape snagging fabric onto skin and lifting me away. "Stop it! Let me go!"_

_"It's for your own good, kid," Officer Dok mumbled. Zackly quickly radioed a team and medical associates and other policemen swarmed the building. I was escorted out where Zackly had already gone ahead and explained the situation to my family. I raged at Officer Dok, but he did not let go no matter how much I kicked him or swaddled myself around. I met eyes with my parents and reached out for them. However, the turned away, ashamed and distraught._

_"No, no, no! What are you doing?! Stop them," I cried. "Mother! Father! Please, don't let them take Armin away." The police officer gripped the collar of my neck, even more, his knuckles turning white from holding me off the ground. The men clad in black lifted the gurney out, a black bag tied down and under the plastic was my friend._

_"Oh god, please tell me this isn't happening," my mother trembled. She hugged my father's arms and ignored my pleas, her eyes locked solely on the body. My father was stone-faced and bore a putrid stare with an empty frown. He only held my mother reassuringly trying to comfort her. I didn't understand._

_"Eren," Mikasa sobbed. "Why would you do this? This is horrible. You... You killed him! You murdered Armin!"_

_I made him beautiful. Why is that so wrong?_

_They took me away from my home. They locked me inside a cell. Three walls of stone and one wall of iron bars. The cackling of real monsters roamed these hallways echoing and fading away like radio static._

_"Such a menace at a young age," one commented. "What a legacy to behold."_

_"He is puny but strong," another added. "An early taste for iron is dangerous."_

_"Murder is a concrete conviction."_

_"What a monster."_

_They don't know I was saving a life. What don't they see about that?_

_In the yard, they continued. They made my head spin like the swirls of a lollipop. They mock me for not understanding what I do. The gray clouds cast overhead a hint of moisture in the air. And under the blanket of the sky, I made a shiv for myself hiding it in the folds of my clothes. Small it was, but deadly as well._

_We were called in for lunch, the guards shouting at us and shoving us forth unceremoniously. The others all made ran me over like tall wriggling towers all trying to grab a meal. By the end, I was beaten and stampeded over like a bug, tucked away on the ground as one of the last guards walked over. He offered me a hand with a pitiful stare which I only growled in response. I pushed myself up and dusted myself off._

_"I was only trying to help," he retorted. I turned to him and slipped the shiv into my palm._

_"Yeah? Well, so was I!" I spat. He screamed like a banshee ripping through the streets as I ran the rod down his face making a pleasantly nice gash. The dark red almost black blood dripped and stained the dirt terrain as he fell down to his knees. The way the grayish white of his skull peeled under the ribbons of skin flayed like a fluttering curtain. He should heed to my blade like the work of art he was. Every single person was a blank canvas, but some need a push in the right direction._

_Blank canvas became harder and harder to paint. The blank canvas became a place I could no longer draw. Those people don't know how to cope with such a horrible world. They can't help themselves. And neither can I. But I could help them._

_Blank canvas. White paper. Four walls. Only four walls._

_Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls. Four walls._

_Four. Goddamn. Walls. Blank walls, cold walls, concrete walls, bare walls, barred walls, all encasing me in a trap._

_I was only trying to help. Is that so wrong?_

⛓⏳⛓

A soft tapping ruptured the comatose of endless sleep. It was like plunging into the cold empty depths of the ocean, fleeting rays of light peeking from the surface. I couldn't move, couldn't breathe, and I couldn't run. I was being swallowed towards the abyss. And in that matter of only space and light, a mirror hit my back. Staring into the abyss, it was me who stared back. He was small and afraid, proud and mellow, equal in bravery, and both naive and foolish.

Nothing had changed.

I reached out towards the mirror and it cracked. Spreading like a fire, the mirror destroyed itself, and suddenly I was awake. A dim light illuminated the room as the tapping continued. As blobs turned into shapes and then into figures, I could see Levi wasting away at a piece of paper. His shirt was lost and he wore grey loose sweatpants. Bandages wrapped around his shoulder and bags dropped under his eyes. The sunken crevices danced with shadows under the flickering light. I don't know why, but I was worried about his health. Seeing him like this was different than when I first met him. Like this, he was nearly vulnerable. I tested the waters out of the covers and slowly slipped out of the bed, sitting myself on the edge. He heard me shuffle and glanced over. I was about to ask about his injuries when I met his sharp eyes, a grey so deep and so hurt all the same. But, those eyes were ones that would not hurt me. That's the kind of feeling I got from them.

However, guilt flanked my gut and pooled in the bowl of my stomach. I grazed back to his shoulders tracing the outlines in my mind.

"I did this to you. You're hurt because of me," I stated quietly. Levi said nothing but stared without even twitching an eye. He neither approved or denied by the statement. And maybe, he shouldn't. Levi had approached with caution when he engaged Reiner. Nothing I did made that easier for him. And at the moment he saw me, Levi left his shields behind. I realized that there was more to his dedication to getting me out of this place. But now, I might have screwed up my only gateway. Levi suddenly let out a sigh and leaned back in his chair wincing as his shoulder scrunched up and gradually mellowed out.

"Reiner Braun is dead," he stated. "There was no chance that an ambulance would have reached this place, and our on-site medical associates were either incapacitated or too afraid to approach the scene. Four of the attacked were announced deceased six hours ago. Eight others were put on leave for recovery from minor injuries. Two were... Dismissed and are on permanent leave."

"I see," I said after a long silence passed. "I'm sorry." Levi shook his head.

"You did a good job, brat. If it weren't for you, Reiner might have taken me to his grave, too," Levi explained. "When you pulled the steel out of me, you stopped it from completely severing my arteries. Had it gone even another inch, I can't say we could have stopped the blood at all. Eren... You saved my life. You have my utmost gratitude. Death can sometimes bring life. And in life, there is death. I've convinced the officials that you had to kill him out of self-defense as well as trying to protect those of us left here. And I don't think anyone else would disagree with me."

My chest tightened, and I heaved after hearing him. Tears welled in my eyes and hung off my eyelashes before streaming down my face. It was relieving to hear that. It made me happy that I could finally see someone. Even someone like Levi who had suffered and still stood strong. I was happy to see someone so beautiful. I wanted to be able to walk like that. Levi told me he wanted to help me. I was wronged for so many years. No one could understand me. It's only been a short time, and I had already given myself to Levi.

"Can I— Will I be able to get better?" I whispered. Levi got up slowly and sat down beside me. He rested an arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his chest. It was the first time anyone had held me in a long time. His fingers laced the tendrils of hair on my head. It felt nice.

"You helped me, Eren," he murmured into my scalp. "Now, it's time to let me help you. You promised to work with me after all." I inevitably huffed as a chuckle left my throat. And then a snicker. Soon, I was grinning and giggling like an idiot. Levi softly grinned at my demeanor. When was the last time I laughed like this? It almost seemed foreign to me. But, it also felt like the right thing to do in the moment. It made me feel good. Desire returned as I inhaled Levi's scent more and more. I found myself pushing against his chest inhaling more of his scent. There was a strong musk to his smell but a bitter herbal smell followed him like aged pine trees or tea. I could have gotten drunk off of it.

"We never did continue," I pointed out. Levi pulled away much to my disappointment and looked me over in concern.

"Do you want to?" Levi asked. "What happens now will stay between us if that's what you desire. I don't want to you hurt you."

"Nothing can hurt me much at this point," I declared. "I've never had this attraction to anyone. Please, Levi. I trust you," I said with pleading eyes. Levi breathes sharply as he turned and moved the blankets and shoved them to the bottom of the bed. He lightly pressed on my chest and pushed me down onto the pillows, my body bouncing back slightly before laying sprawled before him. And before I knew it, Levi was leaning down and kissing me.

I had never kissed before, and the thought only barely crossed my mind as a child. It was gross, and something grown-ups did so often. But now, it felt like I was melting. Levi's lips were soft and plump, sucking on mine like an angel from above. His tongue groped my own and explored every crevice of my jaw. He was devouring me with expertise, and he knew it, too. I was gasping as if I had never breathed air before when he pulled away. Levi smirked and he planted butterfly kisses down my cheek and into my neck.

"You're such a virgin, brat," he mumbled into the crook of my neck. Blood rushed down to my groin as he suddenly nipped just below my jugular. He swished around my veins and pulled at my Adam's Apple nearly choking me when I couldn't swallow well. I bucked against him and instinctively moaned as his arousal hit mine. "Humph, so eager..." Levi laughed at my lack of restraint, but I couldn't help it.

He expertly began to remove my robes removing each piece of clothing and folding it before placing it on his chair. He exhaled sharply as he stripped down my underwear revealing my half erect cock. He chuckled as he lightly blew on the tip, and I twitched and shuddered under his control. I felt much too hot for my liking and wriggled around. Levi took no heed and only repeated the stripping and folding process for himself. I found myself entranced under his fluid motions. Even with his shoulder, he still moved with relative ease. Soon, we were both stark naked under dim light, the smell of cinnamon enthralling itself through the room. He then leaned back on his knees scanning me from tip to tail.

"Would you prefer to be on your back or on your knees?" he asked, his voicing dropping almost an octave. I twitched at the thought of both but settled on what I wanted.

"Knees," I whispered. "Please, dominate me." Levi gestured for me to turn around, and get onto my hands and knees. He set my legs apart and pushed me forward a little. Firm hands grasped my cheeks kneading and spreading them apart. I instinctively shoved my face into the pillow breathing shakily and arching my spine further. I wanted to present myself as much as possible. I gasped as Levi spit and saliva dribbled over my hole. His fingers painted the outside and gently prodded.

"Eren, if anything happens, you yell Titan and we stop, understand?" he asks. I nod meekly. I shiver as suddenly he pushes in. It's a strange feeling, and I feel uneasy all of a sudden. My mind was shouting to push out. But, I clenched subconsciously and Levi went deeper as if my muscles were jelly under his motions. I whined lowly leaving nothing but gurgling moans around the room. He churned his finger slowly massaging my strength away. I could feel my walls becoming hollowed, and the space in between was lengthening. The cold air filled me and left like I was breathing. Levi's nails traced my innards over and over. I was at full mast and trembling. I shut my eyes unable to overcome the beating of my heart or even the wet sopping sounds bleeding from my drenched hole. I cursed as Levi added another finger. He scissored me open and stretched me more and more. It was a slow process and my gut felt tighter and tighter.

All of a sudden, Levi pulled his fingers out and absentmindedly tapped his fingers admiring the string of fluids sticking between his fingers. I groaned in frustration bringing him back, and he began to shift. I shot my eyes open when I felt a hot burning sensation behind me. It rolled up from my ballsac and over my asshole milking my crack. His precum slathered around his shaft and into my skin. He finally guided his cock in the ball of his hand and pressed onto my tailbone. He exhaled sharply as he slipped inside with little resistance. I let out a cry and tried to pull away shocked at the penetration but Levi gripped my waist. He held still for a moment as I shifted and panted with my tongue lolling to the side. Pain seemed to prod at my body but under it was a pleasure that nearly scared me.

It felt too good to be true.

"Levi," I crooned perking the little man behind me. "Please, I need you to move." I drew out the last word and Levi complied. I screamed as Levi abruptly left his gentle demeanor behind. He dug his fingers into my skin as he began to pound into me without a single hint of hesitation. It was quick and hard befitting of who we were.

"Fuck!" I sneered as Levi lifted himself slightly and angled himself straight into my prostate gland. I fisted the bedsheets between my fingers and muttered a mantra of curses and pleas. "Ngh, Levi! I can't hold it anymore..." my chest heaved and my vision was spinning blotting out in flashes of black and white.

"I'm about to cum too!" Levi growled. "Ah fuck, Eren!" He leaned down and nipped at my ear tearing my head back as we both came. His cock left its burning semen into my core and I shuddered as strong after string ejaculated from my own onto the sheets. We held still as we both came out from our high. Swear and cum mixed in the air leaving none of the cinnamon to breathe. Levi pulled out slowly as he grew soft and even though he as just as exhausted as I was, he helped me clean up. He got up and opened up the closet. To my surprise, the back panel suddenly opened to reveal a private bathroom. Levi ran warm water into a large basin before helping us in.

He removed his bandages, and I finally saw a gouged out hole in his arm. Being conscious enough to avoid it, I sat my ass on his thighs and placed my head on his good shoulder. We laid next to each other with his arms wrapped around my body for a long time.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed or even what day it was, but when I felt the bathwater encase my body, I felt relaxed. Being connected with Levi like that was a stronger drug than anything before. He was euphoria in its strongest form. It wasn't until Levi began to lather my body did I stir to my trance-like state. He lightly scrubbed shampoo into my scalp and let me play with the bubbles that were beginning to form. A bath bomb fizzed at the other end and made the water a deep teal color. It began to smell more like pine than us now. I pushed the little ball around and made little mountains with the suds. I nearly forgot Levi was watching behind me until a deep chuckle filled the room. I turned around to see Levi leaning on the side of the tub with an aloof smile.

"What's so funny?" I asked suddenly irritated. Levi just huffed and stretched his body out pushing me off of him and landing in the center of the tub, his legs spread far over my lap.

"Have you realized it? You're already closer to recovery," he mused.

"What do you mean?" I asked, puzzled at his epiphany.

"Being here like this and playing around is something a child does," he stated. I frowned and flushed in embarrassment. I didn't want to be compared to a child. Levi only seemed to get more entertainment from my reaction.

"Just stop it! So what if it is childish?" I retorted.

"Then, that means you're becoming less of a walker and more of a human," he said. I stopped and genuinely felt small again. I felt like I was a child innocent to the world. But, even I cannot erase the memories embedded in my mind now. Despite that, I felt proud.

I stared down at my distorted reflection. A small smile began to show on my lips. Human. It was something I forgot how to be.

"You'll get better. I swear it," Levi added. "From here on, we are paving the way for a whole new world. Fly in it with me, Eren." I nod and my smile broke into a toothy grin.

"I'll be ready to fly on these wings of freedom with you anytime, Levi."

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock goes the clock. And even though it never stops, I found that there was plenty of time to change. Tick tock on the face of the clock, but reality holds more than one.

There is a place located far away from public society. This barren complex located in a landlocked terrain is shrouded by great oaks and pines. It is dark, and damp roots are surrounded by nothing but jagged rocks and the rotting corpses of the children and adults who were abandoned by the eye of the people. A building looms in the center of this wasteland, a large windowless grey building with flickering lights and security locked gates binding the foundation tight. This place is home to the ones who never fit in.

But among us are some who fit in between the lines of each other, ones who are interesting. It can be terrifying to see how quickly I've changed, and yet, it all happens here behind these closed doors.

And so, the clock chimes on.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably the longest one shot I have ever written to date. I've spent months on this to get it to this point, and I genuinely congratulate and thank each and every one of you who read this start to finish. It's a long story, no doubt. And it certainly makes up for what I did during Holding On I hope. I explored a ton of different scenarios and while they seem a little random, it's the charm of a one shot. I have to give special thanks to 0Muramasa0 for going through and helping me edit this monster. While we still might have missed some things, I'll hope you forgive us. I want to be able to bring even better content from here on, so please give me some honest feedback. Vote on this and please, talk to me! Your comments give me more than you can imagine. Or heck, even message me on Instagram at @actualserpex ^^
> 
> In any case, I've got some other stories on the bar now with this one out of the way. Until the next one!


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